Think a fancy dinner will do the job? Please. You’ll need some next-level strategies to convince her it’s worth another round—but these tips should help. So, here’s the 5 GUARANTEED Ways To Get “THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY” Back!
You did the soul-searching, tried the “time apart” thing, dated someone else. Now you have finally come to the realization that things ain’t gonna get any better than this.
You made a huge mistake when you let him or her go. And now, you want them back. It’s not necessarily too late to rekindle the love with your ex, but don’t get rash and make any mediocre moves. You want to do this right—and reengage with caution. So here,10 tips on how to approach him/her for Round Two.
It’s important to have a plan to follow, because after a breakup you are hurt, emotionally drained and most of all, confused. And during this state of confusion, you are bound to make a lot of mistakes that will actually hurt your chances of getting back together. Having a plan gives you a sense of direction and removes all the confusion. A plan will give you something to look forward to when you are feeling down and unsure about yourself. A plan will give you hope.
Consider why you two broke up in the first place.
Do you just want him back just because you can’t accept the idea that he does not want you? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Or you really do like him or her? Were you (or both of you) abusive, controlling, mean, or possessive? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you’ll want to think long and hard about going back to that kind of relationship, but if you do still want him back, try the following steps.
Calling And Texting Them Immediately is a NO NO! A Major NO!
It’s a huge mistake to text and call your ex all the time. In fact, it’s a huge mistake to call them even once. Your instincts tell you that if you stay in contact with your ex, they will not forget about you and hopefully come back.
But it doesn’t really work that way. In fact, every time you call or text your ex, you are showing them you are a needy person and you are miserable without them. This neediness is unattractive and cheap, it pushes your ex further away.
There should be NO CONTACT RULE
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over there.
It’s simple and a very effective. All you have to do is stop all the communication with your ex for a short period of time. (For 30 days but for extreme cases 2-6 months).
- No Calling
- No Texting
- No Facebook Messaging
- No Online Contact Of Any Kind (IM, Twitter)
- No hanging out with common friends in hopes of meeting your ex
REMEMBER: Your ex needs some space and time to remove all the negative associations from the breakup and start missing you.
Taking Care of Thyself
Remember, your ex will not make you happy, only you can make yourself happy. And the only way you can do it is by realizing your purpose and your goals in life and pursuing them.
Make a positive change in your life during this time.
- Positive change in your appearance.
- Give yourself some time to grieve.
- Go out with friends.
- Do some meditation.
- Attend Yoga classes or Gym sessions. Sweat it out!
Whatever you do, don’t do anything drastic right now. You don’t want to make any physical changes right now that you might regret for the rest of your life (like getting a tattoo of a broken heart). Don’t look PATHETIC!
The Most Exciting Part: Re-attraction
After not being in contact with you for a while, they must be wondering what the heck happened to you. They will slowly start to forget that image of yours (the needy desperate one) and start remembering the things they liked about you. They will start remembering the things that they found attractive in you.
And that’s when you contact them, you talk to them and then meet them. Just as they lay eyes on you, BOOM. That’s the new and improved you. YOU version 2.0. They can’t help but wonder what brought so much positive change in you.
Moreover, you can now start communicating with your ex. Text messages are great for building attraction with your ex. They are short, they are personal and you can be sure they will read your texts. If used correctly, you can condition your ex to light up in excitement whenever they see a message from you.
The key to using text messages is to be VERY SUBTLE and NEVER TEXT them with BLANK MESSAGES. Never ever directly talk about your feelings or about your relationships. You want them to associate text messages to something positive and fun.
Do not call it a date. I repeat. Do not call it a date!
If you do, your ex will put their defenses up faster. You don’t want them thinking that you are looking to get back together. At least not now. You want them to go out with you as a friend. And then you can build up attraction while you are with them.
The best way to ask them out is to give them a call. It’s possible they might require a slight push. A simple “come on, it’ll be fun.” Or “Hey, it’s just coffee. What’s the harm?” should be sufficient. But DO NOT GO OVERBOARD IN PUSHING them.
ON THE DATE. Just be yourself (attractive, fun, happy, and awesome). Do not talk about your past relationship or your breakup. It will lead to no good. That relationship is over and if you two do get back together, it will be a new relationship. There is no point digging old graves when you want to start a new life.