The Hilarious Educational Anaconda Cover

To everyone who found Nicki Minajs “Anaconda” music video to be too offensive, degrading, and/or confusing for your taste: we’ve got an early New Year present for you.

CollegeHumor.com has released an animated, informative take on the hit rap song, complete with dozens of interesting anaconda facts. The only thing that will have you saying “Oh my God!” is the reality that these snakes can get up to 30 feet long and are primarily nocturnal.

Don’t worry, it’s no longer Minaj’s jaw-dropping, gravity-defying derriere. The creators were creative enough to impart their knowledge with the reptile, using the beat of 2014’s intriguing massive hit, ANACONDA!

Here are some actual facts about Anacondas, presented by anime Nick Minaj.

The anaconda grow, the anaconda grow
The anaconda grow up to a quarter ton, hun

[Verse 1]
The green anaconda lives in the Amazon-a
And the Orinoco Rainforest in South America
They live in swamps and marshes and slow-moving streams
And they’re the largest reptile when measured by weight
Now they’re real, real, real
Eat pigs and birds and other reptiles
And larger ones can even prey on tapirs
And capybara and even small deer
This is a dope snake
By the way, seven days
That’s how often they need to have a meal
Wrap around their prey and squeeze so hard to kill
On land got no skill but their swimming is trill
Underwater concealed, but you see their nostrils
Scientific name, Eunectes murinus
In 1758 named by Carl Linneaus
Sssssssss

[Hook]
Oh my gosh, thirty feet long
Oh my gosh, primarily nocturnal
Oh my gosh, found in Ecuador
Found in Ecuador
Found in, found in Ecuador

[Verse 2]
The male anaconda is a similar color
But sexual dimorphism means they’re much smaller
Mating in the rainy season from April to May
Female laying down the pheromones to summon the mate
And they bang, bang, bang
Males come running and they competing
Press they cloaca up against her thing
Only the winner gets to copulate
It’s called a breeding ball
By the way, the one who mates
He ain’t even going to live another day
The female eats him and slithers away
Digesting his body while making those eggs
It’s a long wait, half a year to gestate
Ovoviviparous, give birth to live young
Mm, by the way, they smell with their tongue
Tongue-t-t-tongue-tongue-t-t-tongue-tongue…

[Outro]
Yeahhhhh! This one is for my thirty foot long snakes up in the zoo
I said, where the fat ass snakes up in the zoo?
Fuck the little snakes
Fuck the little snakes in the zoo
(Fuck ’em)
Fuck you if you skinny snake, what?! Kyuh
Hahahaha, sss sss sssss

 

Catch The Hilarious Educational Cover Of Nicki Minaj’s, ANACONDA.

 

 

 

x
Please "like" us: